1. |
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I know what you wanted
Was a simple explanation
For a complicated problem
But I can't give you that
Cuz you gotta deal with drama
While you're working any wonders
Gotta call them as you see them
So we meet up where we're at
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
But how do you know that it should?
When I was a young man
I thought soon I would be happy
Didn't know what I was missing
As I waited for that day
Now that I am older
I'm not looking for perfection
Cuz the life is in the people
That you meet along the way
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
But how do you know that it should?
Fate is just a copout
But that don't mean you can change it
You may never find a reason
For the royal runaround
I just keep on trying
As I settle with the season
And if I don't get not wiser
That'll have to do for now
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
Nothing turns out like you thought it would
But how do you know that it should?
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2. |
The Cage
03:44
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My heart is in a cage
And that's where it will stay
Til the liberation day
When you tear the cage away
You'll find it where we stood
You'll find it cuz you could
I'm not saying I'm no good
But my heart is in a cage
Denial is my drug
It keeps me from thinking of
All the claims I make on love
All the ways I flee your touch
I can't relax at all
Behind this gilded wall
I may never hear the call
Cuz denial is my drug
And I don't want to be in this prison no more
It's the darkest place that I've been
Every time I see you I want to feel the feeling again
Let it in
I dreamed a falling star
It flashes where we are
It can only fly so far
It can only burn so hard
The world is turning fast
And so nothing ever lasts
Now you see it, now it's past
And I dreamed a falling star
And life's a broken stone
On which the river flows
Watching where the water goes
Is the only thing I know
I'll see you down the line
When your current crosses mine
Maybe we can flow with time
Cuz a life's a broken stone
I don't want to be in this prison no more
It's the darkest place that I've been
Every time I see you I want to feel the feeling again
Let it in
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3. |
What I've Been Through
03:37
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You can say what you want to
But I'm probably gonna take it wrong
That's the state that I've come to
Better hope it doesn't last for long
Go ahead and be offended
But there's nothing else that I can do
Cuz the truth is that you don't know what I've been through
You can try to uplift me
But there's no way that I can explain
What it's like to be listening to another expert on the pain
While my head is slowly pounding
That's the only thing that's getting through
and the truth is that you don't know what I've been through
And I can't get out of my own head
Like I can't get out of my own bed
And the good advice it just runs red in my mind
And I can't get out of my own head
Like I can't get out of my own bed
And the good advice it just runs red in my mind
I don't know why I'm feeling
All the pain that's coming out today
I won't blame you for leaving
Or for looking off the other way
I just hope that you remember
When the tables turn around to you
That the truth is that you don't know what I've been through
Yeah, I hope that you remember
When the tables turn around to you
That the truth is that you don't know what I've been through
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4. |
That Mistake
03:01
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I have seen the city lights
Fade away into the night
And I have looked to the sky for a sign
But I won't do that again
I have lived on the open road
Believed in every lie that I was told
Paid for it all with my heart and soul
But I won't do that again
And I won't make that mistake again
No, I won't make that mistake again
And it feels like I'm starting again
When the morning comes and and the feeling fades
Disappointment gets right up in your face
When are you finally going to say
No I won't do that again
And I may have stepped out of bounds
Run my chances into the ground
Given up hope of hope sticking around
But I won't do that again
And I won't make that mistake again
No, I won't make that mistake again
And it feels like I'm starting again
Yeah, it feels like I'm starting again
Yeah, it feels like I'm starting again
Starting again
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5. |
Obvious
03:31
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I thought I caught up with my own worst enemy
I had him trapped in the alleyway
Until someone hit the light, I was blinded in the night
And so the bastard got away
You say "Whatever you do, don't look down, son,
Because the danger is overhead."
So I fall on my face and I lose my place
And then I do it all again
How many fires do I have to start
Before I can feel the heat
How long do I have to shock my heart
Before I can feel the beat
Why do I always buy the lie that it's me instead of us
When will I finally figure out what was always obvious
I couldn't tell you what I think about where I am
I don't even know where that could be
It's not like everybody else is doing that well
Or even doing better than me
But when I finally get to that rock bottom
What if I don't ever want to leave
What if I settle down in the cold hard ground
And start forgetting what I really need
How many fires do I have to start
Before I can feel the heat
How long do I have to shock my heart
Before I can feel the beat
Why do I always buy the lie that it's me instead of us
When will I finally figure out what was always obvious
They say that everything is for a reason
And mister, who am I to disagree
But how long should I wait until it feels that way
And like I'm finally where I need to be
How many fires do I have to start
Before I can feel the heat
How long do I have to shock my heart
Before I can feel the beat
Why do I always buy the lie that it's me instead of us
When will I finally figure out what was always obvious
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6. |
On the Line
02:59
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Now that we're here together
With something that we can't escape
And all of the bad decisions
Are coming back to have their day
When the truth is hard on you
Are you gonna run away
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
It's no use to remember
If we don't remember right
It's no use in going to sleep
If we don't make it through the night
You never know what you're up against
If you cannot face a fight
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
We can make a promise
We can seal it with a kiss
But when the dust comes settling down
Will it settle over this
And when you cannot take the pain
Do you have something left to give
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
Will your love shine
Will your love shine
When you've got nothing on the line
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7. |
Beautiful Illusion
02:44
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I heard a preacher on the radio
He was saying what he didn't know
He sounded wrong no matter how he tried
The signal faded, then the signal died
I saw an anchor on a TV show
She had a bomb that was about to blow
She couldn't find a way to keep it lit
Sometimes you gotta know what the story is
And it's a beautiful illusion
but it's still just a lie
Beautiful illusion
I told you the first time
And you are losing til you just let it go
Even if it's everything you think you know
I heard an echo in the hallowed halls
I heard the lonely voices in the walls
How many errors can a human make
How much delusion can a thinking person take
You can't rely on what you hope is true
You can't avoid what you have gotta go through
I might be waiting til you get it right
I might be wandering away into the night
And it's a beautiful illusion
but it's still just a lie
Beautiful illusion
I told you the first time
And you are losing til you just let it go
Even if it's everything you think you know
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8. |
The Same Old Way
02:56
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All I ever asked of you
Was to look into the mirror
Try to see the pain that's showing through
And the light that's getting clearer
Someday you will have to find the words
You really want to say
While everything goes on in the same old way
All I ever asked of you
Was to find out what you needed
Tell me why the best that you can do
Is the least that you conceded
Are you gonna make the same mistake
Each and every day
While everything goes on in the same old way
You're just wasting time
And some of it is mine
You're just wasting time
And some of it is mine
As the days go by
I'm about to lose my mind
But I'm not leaving it behind
All I ever asked of you
Was to face up to your demons
Even if the only place you knew
Was the one you should be leaving
You don't have to cut the ties
But you don't have to stay
While everything goes on in the same old way
All I ever asked of you
Was to give yourself some credit
Any time you try to hide the truth
It'll sink you if you let it
You'll get there in your own good time
And that's the price you pay
Or everything goes on in the same old way
You're just wasting time
And some of it is mine
You're just wasting time
And some of it is mine
As the days go by
I'm about to lose my mind
But I'm not leaving it behind
I'm not leaving it behind
I'm not leaving it behind
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9. |
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All the simple answers that you looked for in the past
And all the work you do to stay on the easier path
All the redemption that you pray for each night under the stars
That is only gonna get us so far
And all the times you count on a run of good luck
Though even you can never fill this half-empty cup
Fair-weather friends will be waiting for you out in the bar
But I don't ever want to be how they are
Don't ask me to do it
I don't have what it takes
I don't know where we're going
But I know that it aches
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
I'm not gonna tell you what you wanna hear
And I'm not gonna act as though there's nothing to fear
Don't hold it against me if I don't agree to the agreeable part
I could never lie to you in my heart
Don't ask me to do it
I don't have what it takes
I don't know where we're going
But I know that it aches
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
How can I help you if you won't help yourself
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10. |
Critical Kid
04:30
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We'll deal with it in the morning
It's just another crisis without warning
And I'm used to those
There's a bad cloud hanging above
We don't have any luck left to run out of
It had somewhere to go
I'm not gonna take it but what if I did
Nobody listens to the critical kid
All I can do is hold what I knew
isn't that you
Are the assholes everlasting
Don't look at me like that, I'm only asking
Cuz I gotta know
Everybody's on the border
All just trying to put up with a tall order
That only wants to grow
I'm not gonna take it but what if I did
Nobody listens to the critical kid
All I can do is hold what I knew
isn't that you
I don't have anymore room
For the dread and the doom
I don't have anymore space
For everything coming our way
I'm not gonna take it but what if I did
Nobody listens to the critical kid
All I can do is hold what I knew
isn't that you
I don't have anymore room
For the dread and the doom
I don't have anymore space
For everything coming our way
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Andrew Durkin Portland, Oregon
Andrew Durkin is a singer-songwriter based in Portland, Oregon. He is also a novelist.
Andrew Durkin recommends:
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No matter how lush and layered these tone poems get, they still feel intimate. The album is like a private performance in an ancient cathedral . . . shimmering and incantatory. Spooky, lovely stuff.
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In a word: EPIC. Metal on a sweeping, grand scale. It sounds effortless, despite all the moving parts. Especially impressive: how integral the keys are (not easy in metal). This band's a powerhouse.
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